Sometimes I have to laugh out loud.
As you know, I have been on a faith walk for several months now. Glynda Lomax has been holding my hand through this rough time and even mentioned me a couple of times in her new book “The Wilderness Companion”.
Buy it here http://amzn.to/GOz1Q7
Check out my review here: http://goo.gl/O2uuT
I often ask myself how I got into this situation. I start blaming myself for poor decisions and second-guessing. I have to remind myself, God didn’t withhold manna from those that made poor decisions. Jesus did not withhold bread from the people that sinned or made poor investments. He fed them all during their time in the wilderness.
Today is an amazing example of my wilderness walk.
I woke up, still in overwhelming debt. It was the first thing on my mind as my eyes opened. I had to force myself to listen to the bible and pray.
This morning, I listened to the bible as the caffeine was kicking in. It was raining, so I did not go on a Morning Prayer walk. My mind was observing the storm in my life. Looking back, I skipped prayer altogether. I resolved to solving my problem on my own and not casting my care upon Him.
After a while, I noticed that the vision was blurry out of my left eye. This meant my contact lens fell out. My last contact lens. If I didn’t lose the lens, then it was stuck in my eye and I would have to pay someone to get it out with my last few dollars. If it was lost, then I have to go without seeing until I can afford more lenses.
Then I looked at my bank balance and wondered how I was going to survive the month.
I started looking at the storm and I sank to my knees in despair. I dropped down to the floor and prayed the most pitiful prayer. It was very humbling to beg God. As I prayed, I realized that I forgot to pray first thing this morning and I put my carnal way of thinking before His Way.
I told God that I was sorry that I skipped prayer this morning. I was sorry for my sin. I was sorry for trying to solve my problems my way instead of His way. It was a humbling experience.
I got back to work in front of my computer. After a few minutes, I felt compelled to look down. There was my contact lens on the keyboard. I was so excited that I decided to text my brother about finding the lens so that he could rejoice with me.
Then at that precise moment, I get a phone call saying that I will receive a $500 check this week. Two instances of good news at the same time! Now - THAT is God!
I give all the glory to God for this. He is faithful and true to His Word.
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You may have noticed that I have been behind on the blog, podcasts, and videos. I have been writing a book about my experiences in the supernatural. The book is almost finished and will be released soon.
I covet your prayers.
I love your honesty Conrad. You are not alone. Many have experienced significant trials the last few years. Our family has not been exempt either. The thing is, either God will take of us or He won't. That's why I love your blog post. In the midst of our despairing situations, God does show up - and we don't have to be performing perfectly. We just have to have a heart for Him. You do. That is clear. I'm not counting on you getting you out of your situation. I'm counting on God bringing about the right circumstances and people to deliver you - because you're trusting Him. Praying for you buddy!
ReplyDeleteThanks Colleen.... A lot of people are going through the wilderness now. It amazes me that God delivers me each time. Like the children of Israel in the wilderness, i have a tendency to freak out. God always comes through. In spite of my shortcomings.
ReplyDeleteThere is such honesty in your writing. I am certain that you will be a light to many because of this. God bless you and I pray for breakthrough in the area of resources for your life. It is certainly done in God's eyes.
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